River-Rat Reflections

Monday, August 06, 2007

LEADERS WHO LIE

While researching my book on leadership and legacy due next month, I came across a thoughtful quote from Gordon MacDonald that reminds me of Neal Plantinga and my situation at Calvin Seminary.

"Perhaps inability to tell the full truth is a sign that one is actually lying to himself and cannot face the full truth of the behavior in his own soul.

But then all sin begins with lies told to oneself. The cardinal lies of a failed leader? I give and give and give in this position; I deserve special privileges—perhaps even the privilege of living above the rules. Or, I have enough charm and enough smooth words that I can talk anything (even my innocence) into reality. Or, so much of my life is lived above the line of holiness that I can be excused this one little faux pas."

MacDonald, an author and one-time megachurch minister, speaks from experience: "I am no stranger to failure and public humiliation. From those terrible moments of twenty years ago in my own life I have come to believe that there is a deeper person in many of us who is not unlike an assassin."

Find the entire article here.

About Me

I am married to John Worst and have a son and granddaughter, Carlton and Kayla Tucker (now married to Ariel Sosa) as well as two step-daughters, Laura and Sarah and three more grand-kids, Mitch, Ashley and Zach. I did my doctoral degree in history and have written more than twenty books and have taught at colleges and seminaries for more than 30 years. John taught music at Calvin College for 35 years and holds a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. Besides reading and folk-art painting, my favorite activities (with John) are hiking, biking and kayaking. Most of our days are spent at our shop, Carlton Gardens, which we refer to as a "hobby gone wild."

My Calvin Seminary Story

I began teaching at Calvin Theological Seminary in 2000--the first full-time woman professor in the school's 125-year history. In 2003, less than 3 months after Cornelius Plantinga, Jr. was installed as the new president, I was, without warning, removed from tenure track and given a terminal appointment. I have repeatedly asked that all the evidence be opened only to be blocked by a dishonest cover-up. When independent mediators were retained by the seminary board in 2005, they called for "retroactive pay to 2003" and my appointment as full professor. They also stated that the charges against me were inflammatory and should be removed from the record. That report was buried. I finished my second terminal appointment on August 31, 2006, and shortly thereafter published my story here.

A Provocative Poem

PEDESTALS

Thousands
cheer,
chant,
and clap
as one of their own
is proudly carried toward the
lofty pedestal.
The audience
urges him
up the stairway,
step by step,
higher and higher,
far above the masses
on the prominent platform.
The media is there
with lights,
cameras
and prime-time coverage.
Publishers huddle
around the base,
for they know
pedestal-people
sell well.
The crowds
on satellite hook-ups
hang on
every last word,
for he seems
so close to eternity.
Yet he feels
unsure,
unworthy,
afraid
and very alone . . .
But at that height
no one notices,
no one questions,
no one confronts.
And so,
in a split second,
the trap door swings,
the noose tightens,
the crowd gasps.
Undeterred, the mob moves on
to build more pedestals;
to encourage another
of their own
up the starlit steps.
But mostly
to wonder
why those
at the pinnacle
keep falling
from the heights.
© 1988 James N. Watkins